Last Friday Night
by HauntedMoonlight
Summary: Sasuke isn't too sure what the hell happened last night, but judging from the naked Sakura in his bed, it was pretty damn crazy. "Okay, explain one more time about getting dead drunk and running half-naked through the park?" SasuSaku OneShot


**A/N: **Hey, what can I say? I love the song, and thought it'd be hilarious to see a drunken Sasuke.

**Title**: Last Friday Night

**Summary: **Sasuke isn't too sure what the hell happened last night, but judging from the naked Sakura in his bed, it was pretty damn crazy. "Okay, explain one more time about getting dead drunk and running half-naked through the park?"

**Rating**: M, for the 'loud, rough, unprotected bunny sex'. c;

**Pairings**: Mainly SasuSaku, highlights of NaruHina, NejiTen, ShikaTema, and SaiIno

**Warnings: **You may see Sasuke as a little OOC, especially when he apologizes to an amused Sakura. Sorry, I tried my best to make it believable...

**Disclaimer: **Naruto is property of Masashi Kishimoto, who i will smack in the head with a frying pan if SasuSaku isn't made into a canon couple! :D **  
**

_So yeah, read and, hopefully, enjoy!_

* * *

Sasuke groggily opened his eyes, his head pounding.

The sunlight pouring in from the small window in his spacious room gave him a whole new wave of dizziness. The very hung-over Uchiha began to stand up to relieve his parched throat and take an aspirin.

Then he realized he was naked.

And then he realized there were clothes thrown all around the room. As if some very horny couple, too impatient to calmly strip, tore off their clothing on the way to the bed.

And _then_ he realized Sakura was in his bed, snuggled against his arm. She, too, was naked.

It didn't take a genius to figure out he wasn't a virgin anymore.

_Okay, Sasuke, _the Uchiha commanded himself. _Pull yourself together. So there's a naked Sakura in bed with you on a Saturday morning. Alright, time to put together the pieces in this puzzle, 'cuz something ain't right. And it's not just the smell of burnt toast coming from the kitchen._

Good God. Someone was in his _kitchen_, butchering a slice of perfectly good bread.

Sasuke gently pulled his arm from the slumbering Sakura. He'd deal with her later. Pulling on a pair of boxers he found lying at the end of the bed and arming himself with a kunai, he quietly snuck down the hallway. "Who's there?" He yelled hoarsely, appearing in the kitchen doorway.

Naruto whipped around, a darkened crisp of bread in his hands. Along with Shikamaru, Sai, Neji, Hinata, Temari, Ino, and Tenten. All feasting on burnt toast.

The dobe grinned and relaxed. "Oh hey teme, about time you woke up. Toast?"

Sasuke held his throbbing head. "Listen, dobe, I want to know exactly what the hell happened last night, why Sakura's in my bed, and why you all are in _my_ house. _Now._"

"Hey, hey, calm down," Naruto rubbed his hair apologetically.

"You think we shouldn't have gotten him drunk?" Temari whispered to a giggling Tenten and smirking Neji.

Sasuke's ears picked up the pronounced whisper. "Drunk? Dobe, I'll give you five seconds before I punch you all the way to Sunagakure."

"Awww, c'mon, teme, you wouldn't want Sakura-chan to wake up, would'ya?"

"Yeah, especially after all that fun you had last night." Sai smiled. "In fact, I'm surprised you're already up. You have more stamina than I thought."

The overbearing desire to punch both Naruto and Sai to Sungakure—no_, Kirigakure_—nearly overtook Sasuke. And he probably would've done so if not for the bleary pink-haired beauty that appeared in the doorway, dressed in nothing but one of Sasuke's semi-transparent button-down tees.

"Whutzza goin' on, Sasuke-kun," Sakura trained her sleepy, clouded-over eyes on an unexpectedly blushing Sasuke.

Then she realized the other amused occupants of the room. "!" The reddening kunoichi quickly ran back into Sasuke's room and came out a few moments later, donned in one of Sasuke's Uchiha-crest sweatshirts.

"Mornin', Sakura!" Ino cheerfully said to her best friend. "How was last night?"

At the mention of the previous night, both Sasuke and Sakura turned an even brighter shade of crimson.

Swallowing his heavily-damaged pride, Sasuke turned to Sakura. Even with bed hair and traces of sleep in her emerald eyes, she was stunning. "Sakura, what exactly happened last night?"

"Um," she stared at Sasuke, emotions scattered across her face. Sasuke saw confusion, but there was something else. Was that…disappointment? "You don't remember, Sasuke-kun?" Her voice was so rueful, he regretted speaking up at all. Goddammit, why did he always end up hurting her?

Naruto, sensing the tense atmosphere, quickly attempted to brighten things up. "Teme, no need to cross-examine Sakura! I'll explain…"

-oOoOo-

_**Friday Night**_

_Naruto banged on the wrought iron door of the large, gloomy Uchiha manor. "Teme, I know you're in there! Teeeemmmmeeeeeeeeee!"_

"_Go away. You're scaring the neighbors." Sasuke grunted from inside. All he wanted to do was sit by the fireplace and maybe watch a good movie or two, preferably without the dobe. Was that too much to ask?_

"_Temeeee, I'm not leaving till you come out! Or till I Rasengan the door!" The dense blonde ninja paused, seriously considering leveling Sasuke's door in with his signature move._

_Meanwhile, inside the manor, Sasuke was having a silent discussion. If he didn't comply with Naruto, his beautiful __house may end up with a rather large and unseemly hole in its side. On the other hand, if he obeyed the dobe, he'd probably end up in the midst of a rowdy drinking party._

_Naruto, sensing Sasuke's instability, grinned. Victory was his. "Fine teme, I'll leave."_

_Sasuke played the words over in his head. Seriously? The ever-persistent dobe had given up?_

"_But," Naruto continued, the smirk on his face expanding, "Sakura-chan is going to be there. As well as a whole truckload of guys aiming to get in her pants."_

_Next thing the Kyuubi knew, his face made contact with a very heavy iron door as Sasuke furiously swung it open, murderous aura crackling. "Let's go, dobe."_

_Naruto scrambled to catch up to his friend, deciding he really ought to think out his plans before putting them into action. Maybe it would even save him from another bloody nose. "R-Right, teme. You better be glad I invited you!"_

"_Hn."_

_Soon the duo arrived at Naruto's house. Even from a few hundred feet away, Sasuke could distinctly hear the wild dance music and see the strobe lights erupting from the unassuming brick house. "How do you get away with this? I'm surprised your neighbors haven't murdered you yet."_

_Naruto merely grinned secretively and pushed open the unlocked door to his home. Inside, dancing, were Shikamaru, Temari, Neji, and Tenten. Ino and Sai sat in a corner nursing margaritas and discussing paintings, and Hinata and Sakura were seated at Naruto's dinner table sipping pina coladas and playing Uno._

_Sasuke watched Sakura as she shouted 'Uno' and laughed victoriously, the blinking neon lights reflecting off her eyes and clothes, making her appear to be an angel. A disco-ball colored angel, but still a beautiful angel nonetheless. _

_Naruto followed Sasuke's line of vision to the giggling girls and decided there wasn't any harm in some innocent teasing."What'cha looking at, hmm, teme?" _

"_Nothing," the reddening Uchiha muttered. "Anyways, where's that 'truckload of guys,' dobe?" He glared at the sweating blonde._

"_Heheh, I guess they got lost on the way over here."_

_Deciding to leave Sakura to the steaming Uchiha, Naruto dragged a wildly blushing Hinata to the dance floor._

'_Good luck, teme,' he thought, sending mental waves of support towards a very nervous Sasuke. 'You better name your first pink-haired, Sharingan-eyed brat after me.'_

_Meanwhile, Sasuke had more pressing issues to worry about than future children. He was currently faced with a rather intoxicated, bubbly Sakura. _

"_C'mon, Sasukeeee. Play Uno with meeeee," she whined, turning her large puppy-dog eyes full force on Sasuke._

_The broody, onyx-eyed ninja had no choice but to accept. An hour—and over twenty spiked pina coladas—later, he was just as drunk as Sakura, if not more so._

"Wait a minute, dobe," a suspicious Sasuke interrupted Naruto's narration. "Aren't pina coladas _already_ alcoholic? What do you mean 'spiked?'"

Naruto sheepishly grinned. "I may have added a bit extra rum."

"A bit?" The Uchiha glared at his friend dubiously.

"Alright, maybe 90 mL extra." **(A/N: According to Wikipedia, a normal pina colada has about 30 mL white rum, 30 mL cream of coconut, and 30 mL pineapple juice. I have no idea if 90 mL is too much as I've never had one before.)**

"_NINETY?_" Sasuke seethed. "Are you trying to kill us through alcohol poisoning?"

"Calm down, teme. You and Sakura-chan aren't dead yet," Naruto laughed, deciding not to tell Sasuke about also pouring a few beers into the fruity drinks. He might be foolish, but he wasn't suicidal. "Now lemme finish my story, will'ya?"

_Anyways, after Sakura and Sasuke consumed incredible amounts of alcohol—_

"No kidding," Shikamaru piped in. "You guys sure can hold your liquor. I'm pretty sure you consumed at least 50 pina coladas between yourselves. Sheesh."

Temari grinned wolfishly. "Shush honey, let Naruto get to the good part."

Naruto glared at the couple and cleared his throat. "I believe I _was_ speaking, Shikamaru and Temari-chan."

"Sorry." Two voices chimed.

"As I was saying…"

_After getting pretty much dead drunk, Sasuke and Sakura decided it would be logical to streak through the park half-naked. And then to go to Sasuke's manor and have loud, rough, unprotected bunny sex for the next two hours until Hinata noticed them missing. _

_At first, the rowdy group dismissed the matter, thinking the couple had just gone upstairs to make out. _

_"They're probably getting busy in your bed, Naruto," Ino giggled. _

_"You should probably wash out your blankets." Sai commented with a knowing grin. "I'm guessing you won't want to sleep on their-"_

_"I get it!" Naruto spluttered, turning bright red. _

_But forty-five minutes ticked by, and they grew concerned._

_Worried, they'd set off in search of the pair. After half an hour of fruitless searching, Temari detected moaning noises from the direction of the Uchiha compound. The group sprinted to Sasuke's manor and snuck in through an open window, the groaning louder than ever. _

_Naruto actually believed that Sasuke and Sakura were being attacked by rogue ninjas, and had been unable to fend the villains off in their intoxicated state. So he rushed upstairs and barged into Sasuke's room, immediately wishing he hadn't been so rash._

_And so Sakura and Sasuke were finally found, still commencing in the aforementioned loud, rough, unprotected bunny sex._

"My God, your stamina really is amazing," Naruto concluded, smirking at Sasuke's reddened cheeks and obvious discomfort. Sakura by this time had retreated into the luxurious restroom in Sasuke's master bedroom, determined to get rid of her permanent blush with a cold, cold shower.

Sasuke chose to ignore the barb, instead focusing on another ludicrous detail. "Okay, explain one more time about getting dead drunk and running half-naked through the park?"

Tenten piped up. "Oh, that was quite a spectacle, alright. We didn't know until later, when we viewed Naruto's security cameras. Apparently, the two of you snuck out while the rest of us were immersed in our BS game and decided to make out in the park next to Naruto's house."

Ino giggled at the memory. "And for Kami knows what reason, you guys stripped off your outerwear and streaked through the park towards your manor."

"Actually, if I recall, Sasuke was _carrying_ Sakura like a real princess," Sai taunted, a malicious glint in his eyes. Ino burst into a new round of snickers, this time joined by Temari.

Neji, who had been silently witnessing Sasuke's humiliation, suddenly spoke up, his voice serious. "Uchiha. I think you have other issues to worry about, besides that of frolicking in a park."

"Hn?"

Tenten quickly caught onto what her boyfriend was implying, and nodded gravely. "He's right."

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked, sounding annoyed.

"Well, if I was Sakura, I would be heartbroken. Here I am one night, having lots of…_fun_…with the guy I love, and he seems to love me back. Then in the morning, voila, he doesn't remember any of it. Think about how bad it must be for her." Tenten said.

_That's true_, Sasuke thought. It suddenly dawned on him that Sakura probably hated him now.

"It's not too late." Shikamaru gave Sasuke a pointed glance. "Go be her knight in shining armor. We should leave anyways."

"But—" Naruto's complaints were cut off as Hinata, uncharacteristically stern towards her longtime love, dragged the reluctant ninja out of the manor. They were followed by the other uninvited visitors.

_Good luck_, Shikamaru mouthed towards Sasuke as he left, gently shutting the door behind him.

_I'll need it_, Sasuke mused grimly to himself as he approached the locked bathroom.

Sasuke knocked politely on the wooden door. The shower wasn't running anymore, so he figured Sakura was just sitting in there, waiting for everyone to leave.

"Who is it?" Her muffled—yet still beautiful—voice called out.

"Me," Sasuke leaned against the wall, facing the door. He could hear her fumbling around, probably attempting to wrap a towel around herself. Finally, the door cracked open, just enough for Sasuke to partially see her face.

"Are they gone?"

Sasuke nodded. "Hn."

Sakura hesitated a moment before stepping out, wearing nothing but a navy towel. She smelt of Sasuke's shampoo and, oddly, it pleased him. He loved her natural sweet, flowery smell, of course. But when her scent was coated with Sasuke's, it made Sasuke's normally frigid heart pound in the strangest ways.

"So," Sakura spoke. The word hung in the air between them in the awkward pause that followed.

Sasuke stared into her eyes, onyx on emerald.

And for the very first time in many, many years, he really _saw _her. Not as a fangirl. Not as a skilled kunoichi. Not as a possible mate. Not as whatever he'd thought her out to be.

He actually _saw_ her.

It was as if he could see her very insecurities and fears, as well as her joy and steadfastness. The thought of being so close to someone—he'd never really had an emotional link with _anyon_e—both frightened and fascinated him.

What intrigued him the most was that he not only saw her, but he understood her. And…_loved her._

"I'm sorry."

Sakura blinked, breaking their momentary bond. It wasn't everyday you got an apology from an Uchiha. In fact, you were lucky to get a single one in your lifetime.

"I'm sorry, Sakura."

Scratch that. She just got _two _apologies. Hell must've decided to freeze over. "Excuse me?"

Sasuke's face fell. "I just thought…I wanted to apologize, that is. For, um, violating you, as well as your trust, last night."

Sakura's lips twitched with good humor. Finally, she couldn't contain her laughter anymore. "Sasuke," she giggled. "You seriously thought you'd 'violated' me and my trust in you?" Where had this pure innocence come from?

Sasuke stared. "Didn't I?"

"No." Sakura paused, wrinkling her brow in uncertainty. "Well, I guess I did feel a bit frustrated when you just forgot everything, and the things you said. Boy, oh boy, you sure do talk a lot when you're drunk, Sasuke."

"…"

"For example, when you put on such a pitiful face and started ranting to me about your emotions. Once you started, you said you wouldn't shut up till I kissed you, which I—"

Sasuke decided to take the advice of his drunken alter ego, capturing Sakura's lips in the midst of her teasing. Smirking at Sakura's expression, he gently spoke into her ear, his warm breath tickling her. "Are you going to shut up, or am I going to have to shut you up?"

Ever the comedian, Sakura zipped her lips and pretended to throw an imaginary key away.

And they had a _lot _more loud, rough, unprotected bunny sex.

That day, half of the child population of Konoha learned sex was not the name of a vegetable, as they'd previously been informed.

* * *

**A/N: **I couldn't resist writing that last sentence, LOL. Even if it ruined the ending a little, I thought-and still think-it's hilarious.

Well, if you liked it, feel free to request another! I'm currently suffering from a round of Summer Boredom.

If you're too impatient to wait for another (believe me, I understand. I'm the most impatient person I know), you should read my other SasuSaku oneshots: **Kissing Booth**, **Lust**, and **Benefits of Horror** **Movies**.

**Please review!**

Thanks!

~**Haunted**_Moonlight_~


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